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Menopause, Mental Health and Me

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Today I thought I would talk about menopause, mental health and me. 

When I begin to inch forward into the land unknown, I really didn't know what to expect. I grew up in a time when women didn't talk about menopause or mental health. I knew what it was and how it affected the women around me and I didn't want any part of it!

When I thought about menopause I knew about the hot flashes and moodiness that I would experience, but I had no idea mental health would become a major issue associated with menopause.

I've been menopausal for a couple of years and have had my fair share of mood swings, but it has become much more than an occasional thing. I've been bombarded with the onset of depression and anxiety. I don't like the new me. I don't like depression or anxiety. I don't LIKE menopause. 

There are now a lot of days when I can't function, when I want to stay hidden away under the covers. Life is no longer fun with this new me. I try to deal, but still...I feel lost among a sea of mental health issues I can't resolve.

If you are menopausal and feel depressed or anxious (or any other mental health issue) don't hesitate to get help with free therapy. Remember you're  not alone...

Defeat Depression with 6 Life-saving Steps

Depression can turn your life into a deep, dark quagmire with no way out. You may believe all hope is lost if you suffer from depression, but you can defeat depression with six life-saving steps that will keep you from sinking further into the quagmire of Hell.
Depend on Others-
When you are depressed, you keep your feelings hidden deep within your soul. Sometimes you may put on a brave act or fake smile,but you are hurting and believe nobody really understands or cares. When you are depressed, your life is in emotional turmoil and you have to depend on the help of other people to lift you up and pull you out.
·         Let others lift you up: You cannot fight depression alone. It will kill you! The darkness and danger of depression will take over your soul and control your life. You have to let others lift you up. When you depend on others spiritually, mentally, and physically, you lift you soul, mind, and body out of the quagmire of darkness.
·         Let others pull you out: When you carry the burden and stigma of depression all alone, you sink deeper into darkness. You have to let others pull you out of your quagmire. Depending on others does not mean you are weak. By letting others help pull you out of depression you are saving your life.
Engage with Others-
When you are depressed you shut others out of your life. When you don't communicate or associate with friends or family, you give up on life because you feel you have no purpose. When you are depressed, your think your life has no value or meaning and you have to engage with others to feel wanted and feel needed.
·         Engage with others to feel wanted: Depression keeps you isolated from your family and friends. When you are depressed the value you once placed on your life doesn't exist. It is easy to no longer feel wanted and sink deeper into depression, but if you engage with others, the value you thought you lost will once again mean something. When you engage with others, you will see just how wanted you really are.
·         Engage with others to feel needed: When you are depressed, you life is turned upside down. You feel you that nobody needs you anymore. The quagmire of depression has swallowed you up and you think your life is meaningless.  However, you have to engage with others to bring meaning to your life. When you engage with others, you feel needed. You will see that the same people you shut out of your life, really love and need you once you begin to open up.
Find Solace with Others -
Depression is not a one-way street. If you a depressed, it may seem your life is filled with roadblocks and dead-ends. You have to realize, you are not alone in your fight to survive the quagmire that has swallowed up your life. When you are depressed, you believe you are by yourself fighting demons, but when you find solace with others you will find comfort and empathy.
·         Find solace with others for comfort: Being depressed is a lonely existence. When you are depressed, all you want is to be left alone, but all you are doing is sinking deeper. You have to be accepting of comfort from others. If you find solace with others by accepting comfort, the need to be alone will dissipate.  Let others bring comfort to your life, let them give you comfort by providing a hug or just by being available. When you accept comfort from others, your life will be alive.
·         Find solace with others for empathy: A lot of people are going through the same thing you are. Depression is not selective. It is one-size fits all. When you find solace from someone who has been there, they empathize with you. They know what you are going through and how to help you understand and get through the dark times. They can help you stay out of the quagmire by fighting your demons with you. When you have lost you willpower and hope, don't give up, find solace with other for empathy.

There is light at the end of  your darkness. Depression does not have to win or control your life. You can stop sinking further into the quagmire of Hell by following the six life-saving steps. You must depend on others to lift you up and pull you out of darkness, you have to engage with others to feel wanted and needed, and when you think there is no hope, you need to find solace with others such as an online psychiatrist for support.

Growing a Relationship

Like a flower that needs nurturing to grow from a tiny seed into a beautiful flower, a relationship needs nurturing to grow from a tiny beginning into something beautiful.  If any type of relationship is going to flourish it needs time and effort, or it will wither.
A successful relationship does not grow overnight, but must be cultivated over  time. Whether it is personal or professional, it takes time to grow. There are many facets of a relationship and one of the most important aspect is time.
Relationships cannot be rushed or hurried for two reasons. If you rush into a relationship, chances are it will fail because you did not give it time to properly grow. Secondly, if a relationship is rushed, it cannot flourish.  In today's society, everyone is in a rush or hurry to be in some type of relationship. However, for a relationship to fully develop over time, four elements are needed. 
To grow in a relationship over time, the first thing needed is trust in yourself and the other person. Trust is one of the most difficult things a person can do in a relationship. In an age of social media, trusting yourself to make the right decisions or trusting another person is not simple. It is important to take time to get to know someone before building a relationship, that is why trust is so vital to the growth of a relationship. Trust does not grow in one day and neither do relationships.  Let trust nourish your relationship and build a foundation rooted in love. In addition to trust, relationships need initiative.
In a relationship, a person must be willing to take time to let the relationship grow. If a person is willing to go slow before the relationship grows, then relationships can blossom into something beautiful. However, you must be willing to take the initiative not be in a hurry and willing to wait until the timing is right. Take the time to really get to know someone, do not rush into something that will later wither and die. One way to really get to know someone is to move slowly.

Move slowly in a relationship or risk failure. Most people are ready to start a relationship from day one. However, to cultivate a good relationship that will grow over time, you must move slowly. Take each day to get to know someone. The more you know someone, the more you will come to appreciate them. Moving too fast in a relationship not only hurts you, but the other person. Relationships cannot grow on hurt feelings or empty promises. Take each moment to enjoy every second, every minute, and every hour of your relationship. In the time it takes for you to start a relationship, the same time can end a relationship. Relationships to cultivate over time, flourish with each day, and grow into something beautiful. In addition to time, relationships cannot grow without effort.
A little effort goes a long way in the growth of a relationship. Effort in a relationship includes six elements that will help it grow. Encouragement, forgiveness, faith, openness, respect, and truthfulness are the keys to relationship growth.
Encouragement goes a long way in relationship growth. Negativity can hinder the growth of a beautiful relationship and when a person is encouraging throughout the growth process, the relationship will flourish and bloom. However, if a person continues to be discouraging, then the relationship is not worth the effort you put into it. Do not let negativity discourage a relationship, make an effort to be positive, but remember relationships are two-sided, not one-sided.
Forgiveness is vital to the growth of a relationship.  So many times, relationships are built on deception, that way is it important to put a little effort into a beginning relationship. You have to ask; do you want a relationship based on lies?  If the answer is yes, then it may be time to move on. If the answer is no, then it is time to forgive. Nobody wants a relationship to grow from lies. However, forgiveness can help build a foundation of trust. Remember, the heart is easily bruised when hurt, but forgiveness can heal all wounds.
Along with encouragement and forgiveness, a relationship must have faith, openness, respect, and truthfulness to grow into something beautiful. Make an effort to let your relationship grow with all the elements needed from beginning to end. Take time to grow a beautiful relationship that will not wither but flourish.

Be Wise to the Signs of Burnout- #stress #meditation

Disclosure: This information was provided by pace pr. However, all opinions are my own.
While many of us accept ongoing stress simply as a part of modern life, this approach can lead to ignoring the critical signs that you are headed for burnout.
According to stress expert Jan Bruce, there are some telltale signs that stress levels are becoming toxic and threatening overall health and well being.
1.      Your work-life balance has become an issue.

Balance is a continual, perpetual action to manage the ebbs and flows of life. The things that buffer you are “lifts” – like support of friends and family, proper diet, sleep, fitness, etc. The “drags” that magnify or exacerbate your stress, are anger, home stress, worrying, or even clutter.  When stress leads to burnout it gets harder to rely on your lifts. 

2.     Anger and anxiety have become your signature emotions.

When you don’t have the tools you need to complete the task at hand, you’re going to feel frustrated. And when you feel that people are taking advantage of you, you feel angry. If you find yourself going all the way to anger or anxiety all too quickly, the reaction may have more to do with burnout and less with what’s actually happening in the moment.

3.     Conflicts are an everyday obstacle.

Another sure sign of potential burnout is an increasing level of conflict between you and your colleagues or your loved ones. Maybe you’re not throwing things, but it’s palpably there—the brusque or exasperated tone of emails and kicked-up defenses day in, day out. Conflicts are both the result of stress and a major contributing cause.

4.  Your passion becomes your pain

A sign that things have taken a downward turn is when that the very thing that once inspired and energized you has now become draining. Flagging passion is a sign something’s gone wrong. While your current business or latest project may be flawed, it might be that a different approach will reignite potential, and your passion.
Jan Bruce is the CEO and Co-Founder of MeQuilibrium, an app that digitally coaches users to help dial down stress levels so that they can focus on things they love to do. Before MeQuilibrium, Jan Bruce sold her company, body*soul/whole living to Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and served as their Managing Director for five years.

Disclaimer: This post may contain links to other stress related articles and my article as well.

For more relevant articles related to stress you can check out Clear Your Stress website and my article Finding a Healthy Stress-free You Through Meditation . You may also want to consider speaking with a therapist.

Managing the Psychological & Emotional Implications of Chronic Pain

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. This post contains an affiliate link.

Whether it’s fibromyalgia, headache, knee twinge, chronic pain persists and for long. For many sufferers, it’s a never-ending journey. According to a 2011 study, at least 100 million Americans suffer from the condition, which is exacerbated by a multitude of factors, including one’s health and emotions by choosing professional help.

While it's often labeled as a physical sensation, chronic pain can have psychological, emotional, and biological implications. Also, it can cause feelings of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness. To treat pain efficiently, the suffer should address the emotional and psychological aspects. 
Below we look at some of the most common psychological and emotional implications of chronic pain. 

1. Alcohol Abuse

A significant reason why chronic pain suffers use alcohol to self-medicate pain, apart from the fact that it's easy to obtain, is that they see it as a way to manage stress, and stress and chronic pain are often experienced together. However, alcohol doesn't have any pain-relieving properties. It tricks the central nervous system into believing the pain isn't that bad. However, when sufferers withdraw from alcohol abuse, chronic pain sensitivity often doubles. Sadly, this can cause some people to drink even more.

The best way to deal with this situation is cognitive behavioral therapy, which tells the sufferer that they don’t need alcohol and other substances to manage pain. Mindful meditation might also work to reduce perceived intensity. If the suffer has developed alcoholism, alcohol detox centers can be visited to start the withdrawal process in a safe, home-like environment. Once initial rehab is complete, chronic pain sufferers can continue following a customized recovery program that not only addresses their withdrawal symptoms but also pain-related issues.  

2. Negative Impact on Relationships

Those who don’t suffer from chronic pain have a difficult time bearing and understanding those who do. Because it doesn’t have visible symptoms, other people can’t see that you’re in excruciating pain. Hence, many individuals believe chronic pain sufferers “fake it,” and this can cause further isolation. Isolation, or the experience of it, can cause the sufferer to end all social relationships, not just close ones. Spousal relationships are often negatively affected and not necessarily due to a lack of intimate interest.

In such a scenario, it’s best to surround yourself with people who have dealt with or are currently suffering from chronic pain. Fortunately, support groups are easy to find; you just have to perform a quick search on Google and mention your locality. Starting a blog might also help. A blog allows you to convey your thoughts without human interaction, so it’s the ideal way to stay out of arguments as well as educate people about chronic pain (who knows, those taking it lightly might change their perspective after coming across your voice). 

3. Fatigue/Tiredness

For chronic pain sufferers, "I'm tired" isn't just a simple response. It means much more than "I'm going to sleep." Fatigue for individuals with chronic pain doesn't go away, no matter how much they try. It means being in total exhaustion, and continuously. They'll wake up in a state of tiredness the next day, even if they've slept for 8-10 hours. That means their brain processes things slower, and their physical health suffers.

To combat fatigue, try to improve your brain’s and body’s reaction to it. Listen to relaxing music, perform your favorite activity, try belly breathing for a few minutes, or go out for a walk with your pet. Patients often experience incredible energy improvements when trying out these powerful

By addressing these implications, you’d find it easy to manage chronic pain, as it’ll be the only thing left for you to deal with. 

The Science of Mental Illness Infographic

The Science of Mental Illness


More than 50 million Americans suffer from a mental illness or mental disorder. Because most of them are not severe and many go untreated, it may be helpful to understand the science behind what causes mental illness and how it manifests itself in everyday life. If you suspect you or someone you know suffers from mental illness, please get help.


How to Cope with Stress

O.K. we all know stress is no laughing matter. It can lead to depression and anxiety. 

Do you know the symptoms of stress?

The symptoms of stress can show up mentally, physically, emotionally or behaviorally, and within each category they cover a wide range of symptoms. There is no one list of symptoms that describes stress because the symptoms themselves are highly subjective and as varied as we are.

For me it was all of the above. Stress almost killed's important to know what you're dealing with and the available resources to help you.

What's stress got to do with it?

Everything when you are a menopausal woman...

One of the first things you need to do is stress proof your menopause.

Thirdly, be aware of the anxiety and stress symptoms of menopause.

And last, but not least learn to manage stress during menopause.

I can't tell you not to be stressed out. There are days when I want to scream or pull my hair out. What I can give you is the right directions and resources to help you cope. Whatever menopausal stage you're going through you are going to be stressed out. Don't let your stress turn into anxiety or depression. 

You can also take advantage of great online therapy resources that can help you cope with stress.