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Ode to My Health

Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I am participating in the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge, in which I publish a post every day for the month of April, based on health-related prompts.

I write about my health because it is an outlet for me to express anger, fear and the plethora of emotions that run through my mind. I am angry! I do not like being in pain. My health should have been at the top of my do to list, but it wasn't. I didn't make it my number 1 priority. I let it suffer as I am now.

 I don't want to be sick. I want to be healthy, but I can't. My body won't let me. I can't take medication. My system rejects anything foreign. My health is a Catch 22. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

 I'm no longer a spring chicken but an old bird who stays in the coop. I now cluck around the house and don't socialize with the other hens. It all started the day I was born. I happen to be born with Rh- blood type thus my health problems began.

The older I got the worse it got. I had mononucleosis as a teen-ager and things went down hill. I developed ulcers, chronic fatigue, stress and too many problems to name. I'm a walking sick room.

Now, at 51 I sit in agony with joint pain, tiredness, depression and the list is endless. My health won't get better. It will probably get worse. I struggle with something different daily. Stress makes it worse.

I'm going to be brutally honest. There are times when I wish I could crawl into a dark corner and not wake up. Yes, I have had "the" thoughts, but no I won't act on them. I have too much to live for.

I will survive the agony of living in pain. It's a given.

Ode to My Health
My health is deteriorating endless pain seeps through the crevices of my body...

2 comments:

  1. Melanie said...:

    I don't have nearly the health issues that you do, but I sympathize and can relate on a smaller scale. With menopause, depression, insomnia, and migraines, sometimes I just want to pull the covers over my head for days at a time.
    That said, I'm so glad to have discovered your blog. Many congratulations at being named one of the Best of the Web on Healthline!
    I'll be back!

  1. I can't imagine what it's like, with medication not being of any help at all...

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